He had waded out too far
The boy in the sea
Knee-deep he stood
As the tide withdrew
Drawing bridges round his toes
Dipped in seaweed
On a mermaid watch
Spying only undulating glass
Alluring sheets of metal grey,
Gathering towers, sparkling spires,
Sudden with a dragon’s curve
And he, turning away too late
To shore, felt the sand give way
Beneath shifting feet of clay,
Merman knee-deep no longer
Arms flailing, gasping watery riddles
Above the cresting wave
Choking fear and salt water
Blinded eyes seeing royal fury
Losing air, light, sky, dreams
In a torrent of sea
Till he grew legs again
Bones plucked from the foam
Tossed back onto the shore
Spluttering at the eddying pool
From which he rose
Like a bird flapping forgotten wings
Then dropping like a stone
On to his knees
Beside fallen sea castles.
dVerse Poets Pub: OLN #278 Rejoice! Re-posted on JollyBeggar.com Originally posted on PilgrimDreams.com
This Jolly Beggar 
Great poem!
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Thank you very much … Glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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Nice reflection , awesome
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Thank you kindly! I just read your “The Tamarind Tree” and thought how poignant and evocative it is –
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This is a wonderful read! I totally enjoyed the way the words come together and flow! Well done!
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Thank you! If the words have any cinematic flow to them it’s probably due to my having witnessed just such a moment at the beach. Thanks so much for your comments 🙂
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You are a remarkable poet, Dora. Your poetic abilities always astound, and I am eager for each image you entwine with your wonderfully evocative words. This was breathtaking, especially this stanza:
“Till he grew legs again
Bones plucked from the foam
Tossed back onto the shore
Spluttering at the eddying pool
From which he rose”
You tell a vivid story and it captured me completely. Your writing style is one I adore very much, and I think it is unique. Always keep writing, you are amazing. ❤
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And you take my breath away with your kind, encouragement and generous praise. Thank you, Lucy. 🥰 I was trying to tell a story and I’m glad it came across that way.
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What a gorgeous story! Thank you for sharing with us.
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Thank you, Linda!
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Your telling of this story is dotted with sparkling fairy tale imagery, Dora, and the way you cloak the danger in the tide ‘Drawing bridges round his toes / Dipped in seaweed’ before it turns, ‘Gathering towers, sparkling spires, / Sudden with a dragon’s curve’. I also like the way you convey the panic in ‘felt the sand give way / Beneath shifting feet of clay’ and ‘Arms flailing, gasping watery riddles’. I was relieved the boy survived and love the final stanza.
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Thank you, Kim, for your generous observations. I’m happy you liked it and, yes, I was relieved as well! 💖
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This had me breathless waiting to see what would happen! Beautiful images and wonderful flow.
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Thank you, Merril. It was horrifying at the time but, thank God, turned out well.
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You have woven an epic battle between boy and sea with such expertise. I *love* this turn: “Till he grew legs again” Would love to hear you read this one, Dora.
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Now that’s an idea! 😊Thank you, Lisa. I’m glad you liked its drama.
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My pleasure, Dora 🙂
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Great word pictures … most especially the last stanza! Well penned.
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So grateful for your comments, thanks!
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Sea castles, like land castle fortresses, all fall, sooner or later. Well-told tale, Dora.
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The tides of time defeat them all, don’t they? Thank you, Ron.
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I’m with Ron on this. An excellent read.
Anna :o]
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Thank you so much, Anna!
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frantic! oh the fear of drowning, but the draw of the vast sea…
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A dangerous combination indeed.
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A great story poem Dora. The fear of losing control and being carried away is vivid and real. So frightening for a young child! Well done.
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Thank you so much, Dwight. 🙂
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You are welcome!
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Bones plucked from the foam
What a line! Amazing poem. Somehow i think only of Jason Momoa when i think of mermans :’)
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Thank you so much! Appreciate your comments 🙂
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I was terrified for this boy! So please he made it out alive.
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I think all of us were holding our breath until he could take his.
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That’s powerful writing!
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💞
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Beautiful and that last stanza… wow to the whole thing
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Thanks so much, Debi! I’m glad you liked it. 🙂
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I love the ebb and flow of your poem ….
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Thank you, Helen.🙂
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This is exquisitely drawn!! 😀
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Thanks, Sanaa! 🙂
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Oh how life knocks us down! This poem is beautiful. I love the ending, “Like a bird flapping forgotten wings,” He gets up a little clumsy, but he survives. A lot of analysis could be made in lost innocence, perhaps. The journey of life.
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Thank you, Tricia. Love your comments!
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❤
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Robert Rob Kistner they’ve given me some nice pills for my arthritis in my fingers so I’m feeling pretty good. I like what you’re doing here stop by my side and we’ll chat keep the good work.
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I can identify with the pain, glad you’re feeling better, Rob. Thanks for reading, happy you liked it!
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