Rochelle Wisoff-Fields invites us weekly to join the Friday Fictioneers in their creative quests of a hundred words or less, prompted by a photo; likewise, dVerse’s Sarah prompts us towards “Poetics,” the watchword this time being fungi.

Fallen
No longer there the Edenic tree
though long I linger near its breathing traces
like a dreamer awakening after a song-vision,
aware only of her pounding heart
as witness to the night’s transactions
when what once was a maiden day eternal
or a thousand years, where golden bridges lighted woods
aflame with love so deep betrayal seemed impossible
until a serpent came with clever tongue
sowing seeds of deception,
sly in its jealous conceptions,
and I, plunging into deadly deceits,
unstrung the heart-cords that made us whole,
left instead with the decaying remnants,
and vernal roots now dotted with fungus.
What eloquent storytelling of a love so great and its fall so permanent.
Favorite lines:
“and I, plunging into deadly deceits,
unstrung the heart-cords that made us whole,”
Lady Shakespeare! ::bowing::
LikeLiked by 2 people
Gobsmacked by your kind praise! Thank you Lisa. 💝
LikeLiked by 2 people
You’re welcome; it’s well-deserved!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Every word she said was true!!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much, Alicia! 🙂
LikeLike
I love how you connected the serpent and the fungi… I think maybe we brought the fungi from Eden as a reminder, we can both get sustenance, drugs, and death from them
LikeLiked by 2 people
Fungi as a Platonic pharmakon, in fact. I like your tying that into these symbols of curse that is yet not without available hope. Thank you, Björn.
LikeLike
Ooh, I love this from the first word to the last. Your writing style is captivating and I love where you took us, specifically here:
“when what once was a maiden day eternal
or a thousand years, where golden bridges lighted woods
aflame with love so deep betrayal seemed impossible”
Love initially blinds us from the tragedies and deception. We create excuses once in too deep, that once we break out of it we can see the rot that lied there. I think that’s what this piece could be about. It is beautifully written in your fascinating writing style, I can’t help but be captured by it. It’s amazing.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Aww, thank you so much, Lucy. Your comments are always so welcome. 🙏🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Quite a tale Dora, engaging. I am sharing this interesting fact today: A “Armillaria Ostoyae” mushroom, in the Malheur National Forest, in the Strawberry Mountains of eastern Oregon, was found to be the largest fungal colony in the world, spanning an area of 3.5 square miles (2,200 acres; 9.1 km2).
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh my goodness! That is some fungal growth. I wish I could say they looked pleasing but at least they can lay claim to being the largest existent colony. Mushroom power 😀
LikeLike
Very well written Dora. Got to watch out for those seprents!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yep. Thanks, Iain.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m impressed by the way, in your retelling of the story of the Fall, you weave in the sense that it was a violation. Or perhaps I’m seeing sexual imagery where you didn’t intend it?
LikeLiked by 2 people
Greatly appreciate your comments, Neil. Your perceptions are right on target.
LikeLiked by 2 people
This is beautifully written, Dora. I too was very impressed by how you spun The Fall of man. These words grabbed me, “aflame with love so deep betrayal seemed impossible until a serpent came with clever tongue sowing seeds of deception” Eve was no match for the serpent, aka, that fallen angel and our formidable foe.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you! So glad you liked it, Adele.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re welcome, Dora and I really did 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
Beautiful telling of the the Fall.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
like a dreamer awakening after a song-vision,
aware only of her pounding heart
as witness to the night’s transactions
loved that.
I like your use of the myth of the fall here, and the way fungi symbolise decay and despair. I guess the more we know about them the more we realise they are essential to life – good and evil in one entitiy. Thank you for joining in!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Sarah. Fungi do seem to embody the human condition in a preternatural way.
LikeLike
Dear Dora,
All praise already given is richly deserved. I concur. Wonderfully written and profound. Applause!
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLiked by 2 people
Dear Rochelle,
Your applause makes my day and is humbly accepted for the gift it is. Thank you. 💝
Aleichem shalom,
Dora
LikeLiked by 1 person
Beautifully done, Dora. Lyrical and wonderful retelling of that special tale.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you kindly, Dale. Glad you liked it. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Loved that poem, Dora.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Bear. ❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dora. This is beautifully written. Such a sad story, told in such beautiful language. Well done.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Glad you liked it, Linda, many thanks!
LikeLike
great rendering of a biblical story. well done. here’s my take on it.
http://wp.me/p6FwZ-1yf
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Plaridel. I loved your take which is all the more crushingly effective for its matter-of-factness.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m a day late and a dollar short. Everyone has already sung the praises of this piece. Beautiful is all I can add.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Again, I thank you kindly for your generous comments, Alicia.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Beautiful rendition of a very sad tale. Wonderfully done!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Many thanks, Brenda. I’m so glad you liked it. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Captivating, and beautifully couched.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much, Sandra.
LikeLike
I’ve paused here for a while on my Friday Fiction forest walk, to read aloud, to ponder, to savour, to admire…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Many thanks, MJL, for your sweetly affirming comment.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Everyone else already heaped on the praise, so I’ll just say well done.
LikeLike
Very much appreciated, Nobbin, thank you.
LikeLike
Too many fantastic lines D. You really painted a picture.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So glad you liked it, Tannille! Thank you. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I was drawn too deep into this and thought; when all the fruit is gone what else is left in life.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s true. There’s only entropy, emptiness, but for a merciful providence so we are also filled with hope.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I really very much enjoyed the way this flowed,
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Beautifully constructed, not enough words to praise this.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Glad you enjoyed it, Subroto, thank you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow I love this! Beautifully written. It’s a long fall.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you so much, Laurie. It is a long fall.
LikeLiked by 1 person