
Genre: Fiction
Word Count: 100
The Disappearing Man
For the hundredth time, he recognizes this as the moment he loses her.
She looks out the window at the restless pecking of a wren, relaxes into its movements.
He sees the colors drain from his world, like an old timey flick on a spool ticking the moments until the screen fades into flecks of black and then, THE END.
It’s the moment to bow out, without fuss. It’s just a social experiment, marriage, though it’s lasted five years.
“Let’s skip the play and stay home,” she says, turning, and he, seeing the colors return, says, “I’m not going anywhere.”
For Rochelle's Friday Fictioneers, 100 words or less using photo prompt; image credit: Dale Rogerson; and Denise's Six Sentence Story, prompt word "play"
Excellent atmospheric piece, Dora. You describe the stream of consciousness so well. Your turn at the end is impeccable.
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I’m so glad it worked, thank you, Lisa.
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You’re welcome.
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I love happy endings… and second chances. Beautiful imagery and tale, Dora!
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Glad you enjoyed it, thank you!
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Very interesting take Dora.
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Thanks Sadje.
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You’re most welcome
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Moving vignette. Love the metaphor of ‘like an old timey flick on a spool ticking the moments’.
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Glad you liked that metaphor, the photo seemed to inspire it. Thank you!
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Time to return to the moment, methinks…
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There’s a bit of that going on for sure.
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🙂
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Felt like he was on secondlife.com
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He’s a little confused, certainly unsure.
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I enjoyed the back and forth between the description of your two protagonists. It was choreographed nicely with lots to be guessed instead of showing. And in only 100 words!
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Thank you Spira. I enjoyed writing the shifts, trying for realism.
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Yes, it is clear that marriage is not always a smooth journey. Well told, Dora.
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True, and in this couple’s relationship, communication’s not too good. Thank you James.
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This guy seems to have some serious insecurity. 🤔
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Agreed. He really needs to talk it out with her. So much unsaid, only guessed at.
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It’s good that they stay together. Nice ending.
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Thank you Frank. You know me, I like happy endings. 🙂
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well done and the pup is adorable
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Thanks UP. That pup is in puppy heaven but still in our hearts and I’ll pass along your compliment one day.
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to paraphrase, jane austen, he hopes the longest when all hopes are gone. 🙂
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I love Jane, she’s so eminently memorable, especially concerning relationships.
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I wonder why he fears losing her so deeply. Perhaps he feels their marriage is too good to be true 🙂
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Probably. A little bit of communication would go a long way. 🙂
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Truth. That’s one of the top reasons why couples show up for marriage counseling. Communication.
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An interesting take on the prompt, and a happy ending. Well done.
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Glad you enjoyed! Thank you A.
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His doubts were unfounded it seems. A touching tale, Dora.
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Thank you, Keith. A little communication would go a long way towards putting those doubts to rest. Maybe.
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Dear Dora,
What a lovely piece. Atmospheric with that sweet ending line.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks so much, Rochelle. I had to leave it on a happy note!
Aleichem Shalom,
Dora
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So full of atmosphere well done 🙂
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Thanks so much,, Angela. 🙂
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you are welcome ❤
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💞💞
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A somewhat poignant story, Dora. In my mind, the title suggests the man suffers from some sort of cognitive ailment, dementia perhaps. Heartbreaking.
On the other hand, your story resonates with a sense the couple is not quite attuned to one another; perhaps time is needed to learn the deeper nuances of their relationship. Or, it might simply be an example of how our insecurities have a way of coloring our perspective.
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I left it a little enigmatic, it’s true. All those suggestions ring true to be honest. What’s going on in his mind is up in the air. Thanks for the great feedback Denise! 💞💞💞
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Beautiful snapshot of life here.
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Thank you so much Jenne.
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An intriguing imaginative write. Thanks
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Thank you Dahlia. 🙂
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Excellent intricate piece- well written!
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Thank you for that generous comment, S.
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Hopefully he sticks with his decision! Interesting story!
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I hope so too! Thank you C.G.
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